GENESEE COUNTY, Mich. — When loneliness set in, David Rachar found support through Hamilton Community Health Network and a church community that helped him with food, furniture and connections so he didn’t have to face isolation alone.
Living alone, Rachar, 64, said the feeling of isolation became harder to manage during the holidays. “I told Albert I was lonely. I live by myself,” he said. “I told him I just looked at four walls all day, basically lonely.”
That honesty led to a change in his daily life through the behavioral health care he receives at Hamilton Community Health Network. At the suggestion of his provider, Rachar adopted a two-year-old calico cat about a month ago as a form of emotional support.
“So he suggested I get a support cat, and I finally got one,” Rachar said. “It was his suggestion, but I’ve always wanted a cat anyway. I love cats. She’s a two-year-old calico, and having her makes a difference.”
Rachar has received behavioral health services through Hamilton for more than a year and said his primary care doctor is based at the network’s South Saginaw Street location in Burton. He said his work with Albert Ujkaj, LMSW, the network’s behavioral health director, has helped him manage both loneliness and long-standing trauma.
“Albert’s helped me out a lot,” Rachar said. “He talks to me. If I have a problem, I can call him.”
As part of his care, Rachar participated in trauma-based therapy offered through Hamilton, including prolonged exposure therapy, an evidence-based approach designed to help patients process trauma.
“I was abused as a child,” Rachar said. “I can’t go into detail on it, but he’s helped me out a lot.” While challenges remain, he said the therapy has helped him move forward. “I still have some issues, but I bounce back from a lot of it.”
Alongside clinical care, Rachar said community support has played an important role in helping him stay connected. Through the Central Church of the Nazarene, where he has been a member for about five years, he said he found consistent care and encouragement.
“I got a couple of people that bring me stuff from a food pantry, and I go to a church where everybody’s friendly,” Rachar said. “They all take care of me.”
He said members of the church also helped furnish his apartment. “They hooked me up in my apartment with TV, furniture and stuff like that,” he said. “I’ve been getting support left and right from my church.”
Ujkaj said Rachar’s experience reflects what many seniors face, particularly during the winter months. Ujkaj has worked at Hamilton Community Health Network for about eight years and oversees behavioral health services across multiple locations, including Flint, Burton, Clio, Lapeer and Whitmore Lake.
“Our aging population may have experienced more loss. They may have lost family members,” Ujkaj said. “When you take a look at the geographical region where we’re at, you’re looking at weather conditions from now until March, dark, gray, cold weather, lack of sunlight, and so they may experience seasonal-type depression.”
He said signs of loneliness often emerge when patients open up during appointments or show patterns such as isolation, lack of motivation or a depressed mood lasting several weeks.
Treatment at Hamilton frequently focuses on helping patients understand the connection between thoughts, emotions and reactions.
“When we analyze thoughts, emotions and then the patient’s reaction, that’s what we’re looking at,” Ujkaj said. “If I can teach a patient how to slow down their thoughts through meditation, mindfulness, awareness and presence, that’s what I’m usually looking to do to help empower them.”
Learning to stay present, he said, can help prevent people from becoming overwhelmed by memories of loss or worries about the future.
“A lot of times when you experience pain or suffering, it lives in the mind,” Ujkaj said. “Your thoughts will usually take you to your past, or stress thoughts are usually future-based thoughts.”
Hamilton Community Health Network offers a range of behavioral health services, including individual therapy, group therapy, couples counseling, trauma-based therapy, medication management and psychotherapy. Many therapists are trained in prolonged exposure therapy, which is typically delivered over four to 10 sessions.
Ujkaj encourages seniors to seek both professional care and community connection during the holidays. “Reaching out to senior groups or your church community, volunteering in the community,” he said.
Hamilton also hosts monthly behavioral health talks open to the public every third Friday of the month, which include lunch and community discussion.
On days when loneliness feels heavier, Rachar said he relies on simple routines to get through. “Nothing much. I sit down, listen to jazz music on my CD player,” he said. “I do puzzle books. I’ve got games on my phone.”
Looking ahead, Rachar said what he wants most during the holidays is time with family. “A perfect holiday for me would be getting together with family and spending time together,” he said. “And if I can’t do that, I call Albert.”
“If it weren’t for Albert and this place,” Rachar said, referring to Hamilton, “I’d probably be miserable right now.”
Common Signs of Loneliness Among Seniors
- Isolation, including withdrawing from social interaction
- Lack of motivation
- Depressed mood that lasts for several weeks at a time
- Opening up to providers about feeling lonely, which often leads to referrals
- Difficulty coping with loss, including the loss of family members
- Seasonal-related depression, linked to prolonged dark, gray weather and lack of sunlight
Steps That Can Help Manage Loneliness and Sadness
- Examine and slow down thoughts, recognizing how thoughts influence emotions and reactions
- Practice mindfulness and awareness, focusing on being present in the current moment
- Use grounding techniques to stay in the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future
- Reach out to others in the community, including senior groups and church communities
- Volunteer in the community as a way to stay connected
- Schedule an appointment with a behavioral health provider for professional support
Details
Hamilton Community Health Network provides behavioral health services at multiple locations, including Flint, Burton, Clio, Lapeer and Whitmore Lake. Services include individual therapy, group therapy, couples counseling, trauma-based therapy and medication management. Appointments can be scheduled by calling 810-406-4246.